Forgiving others’ perceived wrongs is such a freeing thing to do, both for them and for us.
History shows that those that get the best results over time act as if other people are doing their best, even if they don’t seem to be doing as well as they could. There is a difference between learning to do better next time and raking over what’s done.
Even more liberating is to forgive ourselves…
We were doing our best back then; back when something happened we regret. It doesn’t serve other people, or even the “victims” of what we did wrong, to burden ourselves with the past.
Take the learning and forgive yourself. Now’s the time. You have all the permission you need.
Ande Lyons says
What a lovely post David, thank you!
What I’ve learned along the way is by letting go of my need to be ‘perfect’ and a ‘people pleaser,’ I’ve come to realize that I will make mistakes (learning opportunities!). These ‘mistakes’ are wonderful opportunities for healing and to create a deeper relationship with myself and others.
When I step back and become an observer of moments where I’ve not been using my impeccable word or have been hurtful to someone, I am able to forgive myself and know this is all part of a larger picture… a journey of my soul… and I’m doing the best I can.
As an observer I can apply these same techniques to situations when others are treating me poorly. They, too, are on a soul journey and are learning as they go, doing the best they can.
One of my favorite books is Don Miguel Ruiz’ The Four Agreements. It helps me in every aspect of life.
Thanks again for providing a thought-provoking moment with your post.
With deep appreciation,
Dr David Fraser says
Thanks Ande. And thanks for the book suggestion.
Maureen Leslie says
I agree with Ande. This is a lovely post. There are times when we let ourselves down and it is sometimes too easy to beat ourselves up about it. Far better to forgive ourselves and see it as part of a journey. Thank you for this vision.
Dr David Fraser says
Thank you Maureen. “Beating ourselves up” is a familiar concept indeed. Not so useful an activity really.