How do you feel when someone says they don’t want to accept your connection or friend request? Kind of upset, I reckon. Even as an adult, rejection is a little tough. And that’s even if they give a genuine enough reason, such as they only connect with people they’ve met face-to-face (how does that work if you’re building an international network?), or they only use the medium for close friends and family.
But here’s the thing…
Most likely you’ll not trouble them again. In fact, you’ll probably leave them completely alone – for ever. You’ll not risk another rejection. You’ll write them off.
Now look at it the other way round…
If it’s you doing the rejecting, be aware there’s a good chance the other person will leave your life forever and not come back – not speak to you, not do business with you, nothing. Is that what you want?
The price of turning down a connection request might be higher than you realize.
Steve Wright says
I read your blog with interest. I personally believe its all in the delivery of the message. I only accept invitations via linkedin from people who i have met; that way i can be sure that i am happy to either introduce them or be comfortable with them promoting my brand (me).
A lot of people get confused with the term building a ‘network’ and are merely gathering a list of names.
The more enlightened person wishing to connect will have a good propisition and i am always willing to meet and discuss. Those who do not wish to meet in my experience are just looking to build a list of names.
All the online tools are just that and they should be used to aid traditional ways of buliding relationships.
You cant beat face to face meetings.
Dr David Fraser says
Thanks very much for your comment. It’s good to be reminded of the importance of traditional ways of building relationships.
As well as that…
I think it depends a bit what you mean by “met”. I have a number of international connections that meet the criteria you state though I am unlikely to meet any of these people face-to-face any time soon. Instead we make do pretty well with a combination of telephone, email, social media, and Skype (video in particular). I believe the world is opening up in this way and the traditional ways of building relationships are no longer the only option, and to preclude anything else outright is liable to be limiting.
Anyway, my main intention was to highlight the consequences of turning down a connection request. Any future move in relation to that person will most likely have to be made by you. The other party won’t risk another approach. That’s not a great place to be.